Posts tagged Found
Found: C.P. Wyszynski

01. Writer

C.P. Wyszynski


02. Theme

Found


03. MUSIC INSPIRATION

Rand Aldo:
Tell Me And I’ll Forget


04. WRITING

The Universally Lost and Sometimes Found

“Welcome, Malcolm Henley, I am Random Generator, but you may call me R-A-N for short. Welcome to the Universally Lost and Sometimes–” A  strange voice said from the shadows.

“Where am I? What the hell is going on?” Malcolm Henley asked, in a commanding tone.

Execute Ice Breaker Joke 17A-3. Error 1-H7J. Ice Breaker Joke 17A-3 not found. Oh, how embarrassing. Execute Witty Retort 7X-J135! Executing: 'If I had a quarter every time I heard that, I'd be rich!' No? How about a tour then! Your type usually get something out of the tour.”

Last week, Malcolm celebrated another birthday he barely remembers. I guess I am lucky to be alive. Still alive at thirty-five “My type?” He said, in a glossy haze, perplexed at the bustling fortress enclosing him. His feet circled all the way around, stopping at an eight foot robot, the mysterious voice had emerged from the shadows. 

  “Alive. Human. Let the tour begin,” Ran began the tour among brass pipes, pumps, off shoots, and monitor, “And this is what I call the ground level or central welcoming.” 

The second level operated on rotating circular disks connected to levers and a modal-design-interlocking-cube array. 

Ran clinked his head upward, as if calling to the endless inky black sky. “Above the array, multilateral walkways, little devils go every which way, including straight up...nowhere. 

Below, we have every color of the rainbow.” They extend their arm-shaft.

The multimedia of colors rose from furnace slits in the circular encasement, like bubbles escaping the briny deep.

“Quite a site. I take great pride in the Universally Lost and Sometimes–” 

A small squat sized robot with two mismatched arms and a bowling ball shaped head glides across with several gold watches, darting right in front, seconds from crashing into them.

“Good evening Helper Unit-Sigma, still got that arm broken, I see,” The larger tour guide laughs with no emotion, “I know all of the staff, or I should. I am the Overseer of the Universally Lost. Anything and everyone.” Ran's eyes shutter.

  “Anyone?” Malcolm watches as the helper unit fades away, back into the hustle and bustle of the Universally Lost. He runs to get back to the Overseer.

“A-Ha! There's a spark. This way.” Ran adds a lite spring to his clomp as they enter another area. “The lost socks from the dryer, coins from couches, magazine coupons, diary entries, song noodles, electronics, everything that is, was, or could have been.” Ran clutches his chest.

A small piano starts to play, whisker-quiet, leagues away from the tour in progress. 

“Ah, Excellent timing! Look up and you will see my favorite lost item, phone numbers exchanged at establishments with the right to sell Alcohol.”

  Malcolm stares up, “Nowhere.” He was unsure how he had arrived, but he felt a strange comfort with Ran. More help than the doctors…he thought.

Seconds later, thousands of small paper snowflakes come down from the black emptiness. Some flutter as others, the crumpled into a ball, fall down faster. 

Malcolm reaches for one as they all then burn. Poof! A puff of smoke is all that remains.

“Funny, the need you crave to socialize, share a tender moment, feel human, all reduced to numbers on a crumpled napkin.”

Towering from plumages of smoke–A massive blast furnace door with a circular glass window blocks their way forward. 

“Never go in there. This is the writers' struggles. Ideas are incarcerated, they can live and die, and live again. You see, the problem with a writer, they overthink,” Ran buffs the window, “They come up with an idea, jot it down in a flurry, and before you know it–into the universal waste basket it goes.” Ran spats as a gloomy fog overtakes the blast chamber view from the other side. “Does the writer stop there, make things easier for me? Absolutely the opposite! They curl over backwards trying to remember the idea they came up with, days! Even months later... and the more they think, the more the idea metastasizes into something otherworldly and dangerous. See for yourself,” another buff of the glass, “In the corner, right there!” 

A small bunny hops closer to the door.

Malcolm's eyes go wide as he sees the bunny dissolve into a sea of puss. 

Resurging fog bubbles from the pulsating rabbit's corpse. 

This time, Malcolm rubs the window only to see the bunny alive and then repeat its vile end. 

“I think it was from a poem, something about nuclear pollution...that never got finished. Oh, and look there!” Ran points above the horizon to two dragons drag racing. “Failed alliteration. Shame, really. Some beautiful worlds in there. Maybe next time, your kind will know the value of saving your work.”

“Are these real?” I need to get out of here. Few things were worse than what Malcolm witnessed. He had his own horror stories: into and out of hospitals where doctors had no answers for why Malcolm was so ill. One day everything went black and when Malcolm opened his eyes, he was in a gown at the Urgent Care where he lived. A few days and a couple overnights and he was sent home with a clean bill of health, but that was only half true. Months later, another episode, another stay, and another clean bill–He was left to hop on his own, from one doctor to the next, hoping to be saved.

“Why, of course they are real, just like you.” Ran said as their eyes seemed to scan Malcolm, a familiar clinical gaze.

The silence between the two goes on as they continue their walk. Ran continues the tour.

Malcolm barely hears any of it. He was trapped, only this time he was not in Urgent Care. Am I dead? The thought left him cold and lonely. How many others had faced similar fates?

“And, here we arrive at the most troubling wing. Also the largest. The lost. The unheard. The missing. Your stop, my tired friend. They are all alike, the chronically ill...You scream so much into the void, advocating, often for your own chance to live another day. Eventually, I see it more and more, a lot of you end up here.” Ran opens the wing. 

The Lost are dressed for all occasions. While some are in hospital gowns, shuffling with IVs and dried out pick lines, crying out to a nurse that is no longer there, most are in fairly nice clothes. They do not appear upset or even disheveled.

“Can we ever be found?” Malcolm’s hand holds on to the door of the Lost Wing. 

“What kind of question is that? Of course you can be, did you not hear where you are? This is the Universally lost and sometimes–”

“New Human approaching the South Docking Bay,” the loud speaker blares all around.

The walls shake a few seconds after the Welcome Hub alert goes quiet. 

Another one, just like me. Like all of us. Malcolm’s head dips as he steps forward into his new home, draped in a chilling blue silhouette. 

“I must be going. I like to greet all the lost. It tends to soften the blow. Good luck and if you have any questions...” Ran's voice echoes as they have already left. 

A soft woman's voice pulls Malcolm from his residence of the Lost Wing, “Thank you so much for holding sorry about the wait, Mr. Henley. Umm, your appeal to your denial was found. Can you please state your birthday and mailing address to confirm your identity?” The financial claims delegate asks, from the other end of the call. 

Malcolm yawns as he separates a letter from the pile, “I also have my medical I.D. number.” He cracks his fingers and takes off a Blood Pressure Cuff from his left arm, tachycardic, and throws it to the couch.

A small semi-circle of light reflects off the T.V. from the corner of his room, and blinds Malcolm. 

It is 3:00 in the afternoon in his stale apartment. Everything is where he left it. An ambient mess. Clean clothes intermingle with the piles from weeks before. There are dozens of pill bottles and untouched packets of pseudo-health and homeopathic remedy. Next to two empty urinals are a pair of socks with a safety pin and note. 

The note reads, “I thought you might like these. Safe Journey Home. Below are three initials. R-A-N.”  


[Found in an unfinished novel that was burned in a factory fire]

Found: Kathryn Gillespie

01. Writer

Kathryn Gillespie


02. Theme

Found


03. MUSIC INSPIRATION

The Mountain Goats:
Family Happiness


04. WRITING

Stasis in Cycle

You are listening to dead people all the time.
I’m trimming my cuticles with exacto knives 
while louder ghosts play on our radio,
clutching hard won figments of me, 
though I always cycle back 
to fatal worst, dipping toes 
in acid again, screaming
I tried my best
to learn. 

We bury conflicts quick in unmarked graves, 
sleep uneasy in beds unmade with strife, 
rest our heads on mirrors painting 
our whispers just too soft to know
where this spiral starts 
and who it dredges 
down. 

I’ll crack my face with raging tears. 
You’ll find me a pinned butterfly
marked in inefficient
pattern, singing odes to
circling carrion 
birds.  


Found: Michelle Lukezic

01. Writer

Michelle Lukezic


02. Theme

Found


03. MUSIC INSPIRATION

Nine Inch Nails:
La Mer


04. WRITING

the storyboard (to you) may sound boring,
but to her, it is her story,
but to her, it is history,
the weeping boards cry out,
ignoring,
brought up on the dolly,
from dusted alley,
up the steps,
and down the stairwell,
those disagreeable summer mornings.

half cement, half wooden flooring.
both just as cold on her feet.

she was mourning,
when that wooden prick found it's way into her sole,
in the morning,
after a night of wishing please just go to sleep,
it was outside her control.

something changed.
the weeping boards no longer cry out.

no hiss,
no creak,
no talking back,
no one around.

the storyboard (to her) still made sound,
and to this day, it’s obnoxious and rages loud.

but do floorboards creak,
when you are on the ground,
when no one hears but you,
just waiting to be found?

Found: Brian Stout

01. Writer

Brian Stout


02. Theme

Found


03. MUSIC INSPIRATION

Jawbreaker:
Unlisted Track


04. WRITING

When I was in my twenties, I used to go places on my own because I was impatient with waiting for other people to be available. I didn’t want to miss a thing–not that band, not that one-week only engagement of that Sundance Audience Award Winner, not that fully-restored print.

Now I go places on my own because I’ve (theoretically) aged out of a lot of the things I still love and I’m unwilling to relinquish them. It is liberating to be at a show and give zero fucks about how I am perceived.

I wish someone would have told me when I was 17 that no one cares at all about what you are doing, who you are there with, which band shirt you have on, or how you choose to show your appreciation for the music, as long as you’re not hurting anyone around you.

These days, I’m even more invisible, and I genuinely don’t mind. It’s fun to be carefree at shows, and if anything, it gives me a tinge of sadness that I spent so much time feeling like I couldn’t just be myself.

In this mindset, I walked a few blocks from my hotel to the House of Blues. I first saw Jawbreaker a little over 25 years ago. The first time was the culmination of a few weeks of nonstop Dear You listening. From the moment I finished my first listen to 24 Hour Revenge Therapy, it quickly became canon, spoken about the way people talked about The Replacements’ Let it Be ten years before.

On a Saturday afternoon in September 1995, I went to my favorite record store, the one that sold CDs as soon as they arrived rather than waiting for official release dates, to pick up Dear You. It was what I expected in many ways. Major label debuts always had bigger production, more complicated songs. I had no idea this is what I wanted from Jawbreaker, but it turned out to be exactly what I wanted. The sample at the end of “Jet Black” made me run out to Blockbuster Video to grab a VHS of Annie Hall. That became an obsession, too.

That night, I found myself standing on the main floor near an old friend from back home, just like someone in one of Jawbreaker’s songs might be. I stood there shouting the words with quivering lips under my mask and tears in my eyes at times, overwhelmed by the experience of it all–the band I’ve loved for over 25 years playing the songs that comforted me, made me laugh, gave me space to sulk and wallow, but now make me glad I got past all that sadness of my teens and twenties.

What wrecked me was the passage of time–these songs hit even harder now that I have real-life to tie them to. Back in 1995, it was me connecting to some sort of preview of adulthood. I had very little real life happen to me yet. I had barely any kisses to my name, let alone the one million referenced in the centerpiece of Dear You

It would be easy for me to look back and pretend like those were imaginary dramas of me being too scared to talk to girls and devastated when I wasn’t and it didn’t work out. But I can’t dismiss those feelings, nor should I. I’ll need to remember that as my kids age, too, to take their lives and their feelings seriously. 

If anything, the songs resonate even more so now. When I was young and I spiraled over every date that didn’t go well, every unrequited crush, every “no” that followed an awkward me asking someone on a date, the authentic sadness of those songs was what I connected with. “It hasn’t been my day for a couple years. What’s a couple more?” is just vague enough to fit much of that period of my life, even if my adult self would say, “You have no idea what’s coming.”

Seeing someone I liked out with someone new made me listen to “Sluttering (May 4th)” on repeat. And then I’d follow that to “Jet Black” and it’s “If you don’t ask I won’t upset you.” I tried to convince myself I could be Jet Black to the center.

“Million” once filled me with longing for a first serious love, or something like love. Now, I feel weary from pursuing, trying, and failing, but still hoping something will stick. I stood there, awash in all these feelings coming from insights that seemed to just be happening to me in those moments. See the prize but you can’t have it.

I stood there tearfully singing along to “Basilica,” thinking of how I’d certainly felt as low as the friend in that song and I’d talked to friends who also felt that low, how we’d managed to keep each other going. The catharsis of the end of the song rang out, and I walked out into the night after a stop at the merch table. I still need this, now more than ever.

Found: George Lukezic

01. Writer

George Lukezic


02. Theme

Found


03. MUSIC INSPIRATION

(See writing)


04. WRITING

New Found Love
by Popcaan

Love Takes Time
by Orleans

This is my compilation of popular time related songs, in chronological order, that express my search for “New Found Love” from early Grade School to the final song that is to my true love for over the past forty years. 

Don’t Stop Believing
by Journey

Puppy Love
by Paul Anka

Theme From a Summer Place
by The Lettermen

Oh How Happy
by Shades of Blue

Incense & Peppermints
by Strawberry Alarm Clock

Just Dropped In (To See What Condition Your Condition Was In)
by Kenny Rogers and the First Edition

Can’t Get Enough
by Bad Company 

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
by Paul Simon

Time in a Bottle
by Jim Croce