03. MUSIC INSPIRATION
Jets to Brazil:
I spent most of my 30s waking up from the naivety of my 20s. I learned that the world wasn't black and white, that there is no good guy. I came to understand that the things I thought I stood for and stood against were mostly fluid too. In the end, I was just as much a phony as anyone else. But in that understanding I gained some sort of focus that wasn't there before.
I spent most of my 30s playing shows with my best friends in basements, bars, and small clubs, just like I had in my 20s. I learned more about myself with them than anywhere else in my life. I learned how to make art without an agenda, but for the sake of just making something with people I trust.
Last year I turned 40, and I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of how I obsess over things until I burn out, how I can't seem to do anything at any speed other than zero and full throttle. I'm sick of having a million ideas without following through with any of them. Sick of drinking too much and feeling like an idiot the next day. Of singing along at shows so loud that people around me are annoyed.
But I'm going to revert to my best self and make something happen. I'm going to obsess over things and burn out. I'm going to drink too much and look stupid. I'm going to put my foot in my mouth over and over. I'm going to sing my favorite songs at the top of my lungs and feel like the best god damned version of me that ever was.